Ask: I recently resolved an issue at work peacefully but I don't like to judge anyone...
“…I recently started a new position at work in which I am the supervisor of 6 people. 2 of them approached me about their unhappiness with one of their coworkers work ethic they demanded action. It was really hard for me as I just don't like to judge anyone. I did do it in the spirit of love and it did seem to work out pretty well but I was curious of your thoughts. I'm just learning that even in that situation I could be peaceful and not fearful. It was the first experience that I have had that kind of inner peace even in a conflicted situation. I also asked the Holy Spirit for the guidance and saw my onesies with these brothers…” – JW
Since you experienced peace in the situation I’m not quite sure what more I can offer! You must’ve done something right. Perhaps you still feel conflicted over the idea of “judging” others even though you experienced peace in the middle of what you once considered a situation of conflict.
What you want to sort out in any situation is what is fact and what is your projection of meaning (judgment). For example, it may be a fact that Jane habitually starts work late. That fact has no meaning in itself. And observing this fact is not judging her. It’s just observing a fact in the world. And it may also be an observable fact that her lateness violates your company’s policies. In this sense you may see her perpetual lateness as “wrong”, but neither of these observations would cause you to have a strong emotional charge. A strong emotional charge is the sign that you have judged.
I’m under the impression you did not experience this in the situation that you describe. It is never wrong to judge (to think so would be another judgment!). But believing in your judgments is an obstacle to peace. Your judgments, not the facts, are what cause emotional charges and feelings of conflict. They stem from your conscious or unconscious belief that there is a power over and outside of you (a god) that sits in judgment on you and that will punish you if you do not live up to its standards. Someone else being imperfect only reminds you that you, too, are not living up to your god’s standards and so would set off your own guilt and fear of punishment. Your own guilt and fear is what you really see in a situation where you judge. They cause the emotional charge. So ultimately your judgments indicate to you that you need to undo your belief in a god outside of you and over you that you must please or be punished.
You’ve now had an experience to which to refer when you find yourself again in a situation where you must confront someone with the facts of their inadequate work ethic. And you can learn to discern whether or not you are projecting your own guilt and fear by whether or not you judge them and feel a strong emotional charge.
Learn about the books The ACIM Mentor Articles, The Plain Language A Course in Miracles, 4 Habits for Inner Peace, and Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace at www.acimmentor.com.
If you have a question the answer to which you think will help others send it to Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered in the ACIM Mentor Newsletter/Blog.