The Fear to Look Within
Last week I wrote about how the way out of emotions that are obstacles to being aware of Truth and being at peace is not to deny or repress them but to go through them. But many people struggle to do this. And that’s because the first obstacle you encounter is a belief that if you look inward you will not be able to cope with what you find. Sometimes it seems you fear you will be overwhelmed by your emotions, but what you really fear is to see the guilt that you believe is there.
“…Loudly the ego tells you not to look inward, for if you do your eyes will light on sin, and God will strike you blind. This you believe, and so you do not look…” (T-21.IV.2)
Guilt is what sustains the ego (personal thought system) in your mind. It wants you to believe in guilt. So as much as you might not want to look at the guilt in your mind, the ego is not threatened by you doing so. What it really fears when you look inward is that you will see past it. You will see that there is no guilt.
“…Beneath your fear to look within because of sin is yet another fear, and one which makes the ego tremble.
What if you looked within and saw no sin? This ‘fearful’ question is one the ego never asks. And you who ask it now are threatening the ego's whole defensive system too seriously for it to bother to pretend it is your friend.” (T-21.IV.2-3)
In your identification with the ego, the first thing you will find when you look inward is your belief in guilt. That is very hard to look at. But you have to remember that guilt is the cloud the ego uses to obscure the Light in your mind. You have to look at the cloud to look through it. You will eventually see it isn’t real. You will see past it. And each time you look inward and find a belief you feared to look at and see it is not true, you undermine the ego. The cloud gets a little less dense and easier to see through.
It is very hard to look inward at first. But the more you practice this the more you realize that you never find the horrible thing the ego tells you are there. And it gets easier after that.
I’ve released the belief in guilt in my mind. So I know the guilt in your mind is only a false belief. If you want help releasing painful beliefs, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
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