Seeing the Choice More Clearly
I have used my spirituality to not fully experience the pain
of the human experience. I have not denied the pain completely, but I also have
not acknowledged the pain completely. And now I see that I will not let it go
until I fully accept the experience as it
is. Otherwise, I hold back pieces of it and cannot totally release it.
For example, the Holy Relationship I had with E was also a
special relationship that ended. Oh, I felt the pain. But I also used the Holy
part of our relationship to mitigate the pain. I’d tell myself things like,
“but there was no real loss” because of the Holy Relationship, which I remained
aware of. But there was a loss! And,
real or not, I experienced it as very real. In form, in time, loss happens. And
it is never undone in time. One goes
on, maybe even gets over. Time does
mitigate the pain. But, in the story of time, the loss occurred at that point in time.
The way out of loss is not using Truth to deny it where it
seems to happen. The way out is to recognize my choice is loss or Truth. In the Holy Relationship
example, one part of the relationship was Holy and the other was loss. It’s not “There’s pain, but, there’s also Holiness, so I’ll
focus on That instead.” It is, “There’s pain, period. And I have another experience, Holiness.”
It is a subtle shift in approach, but one that makes the
difference between not-Truth and Truth clear so you know your choice. Not-Truth
and Truth do not occur in the same part of your mind. But when you say, “This is
painful, but I have Truth” you try to
bring Truth into the experience of not-Truth. You end up using truth to deny
not-Truth rather than seeing it fully as it is. But when you say, “This is
painful and I have another Experience
to Which I can turn” you recognize that not-Truth and Truth do not occur
together in the same part of your mind. Then you can make a real choice.
>>>>>
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you and can help make your path smoother by sharing her experience. Email me at
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Comments
this addresses directly just what my mind has been attempting to sort out with relationships this morning. i have read it over a few times and applied it. the choice making process is now so much clearer - greater evidence that it is indeed "impossible to see two worlds" (at the same time). such a simple and profound shift... feeling relief and a swelling of gratitude for your sharing. it continues to strengthen my practice. n
so the ACIM idea 'deny the denial of truth' can be misunderstood. im afraid i haven't read the book thoroughly enough (all the way through only once) to know if it also clarifies how this could be so easily misunderstood. im sure it does at least indirectly! like, it does also say things like 'forgiveness does nothing , it merely sits quietly, watches and waits and judges not' or something similar, which i can see now also applies to what Liz is saying here.
so, you could say.. 'seeing the choice more clearly.. to Forgive or to *not* forgive!'
I think you 'hit the nail right on' here !
Recognizing both level 1 and level 2 thoughts - and the choise between them...
TRUE LOVE is what we ARE - special love is its surrogate here (to compensate for the love of God we pushed away...)
Lots of love to everyONE
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster,
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places, and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.
I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.
I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers, a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.
- Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.
by Elizabeth Bishop
This is bad enough but then Jesus gives us his description (T-19.IV-A.12-3-7; 13:2-7).Pages 410 & 411. But it gets worse as Jesus tells us this is what our special love conceals.
The special love that you have for your husband or wife is only a false cover over your special hate which is the things that Freud and Jesus describe above. This is the place where 99.9% of students will never be able to face. Jesus says he will take out hand as we must walk through and forgive these horrors. Virtually no one will ever accept this. The idea that the love you have is only an ego defense to keep you from looking at these things. Your Special Love is actually Special Hate and is the egos reply to the presence of the Holy Spirit.
Without doing this part of the course with Jesus your progress stops. It has taken me 10 years of a deep love for a woman to finally see that all of this is true. A relationship that just would not work. I asked Jesus a month ago to
walk with me as look at these horrors.
Forgiveness and Jesus; Wapnick
The practical Holy Relationship is an effect of the awareness of Truth. So you are correct that if you think it is an end in itself you flip cause and effect and get lost.