About the Ego-identifier...

A few weeks ago I wrote about the ego-identifier (read it here). It was the label I gave to the part of my mind that over-learned the ego (personal thought system). It was the last to let it go. It was the most resistant to it being gone.

But I soon dropped the concept. It was useful while it lasted. I learned a lot about this mind. But after seeing into the deepest, darkest depths of its distrust of Truth (boy, that was uncomfortable!) and its valuing of guilt (as the ego taught it that guilt was the “proof” the ego was real), I realized I had no more use for the concept. If I continued to give it attention I would “recreate the beast (ego)”.

A client of mine told me about another mentor of hers who dropped the ego. She described the stage afterward as the ego’s momentum winding down. It’s like when you stop peddling a bicycle, the bicycle continues to roll forward on its own until it comes to a full stop. I find this description better describes the wispiness of the remnants, echoes, habits, and shadows left over from the ego. Just as the ego fell away, I only have to allow these to fall away, too. I find this practice more useful now.

If you want to benefit from my experience and lighten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment for mentoring. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.

If you have a question the answer to which you think will help others email it to me at Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered in the newsletter/blog.

As requested by a few readers, Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace, is now available in paperback as well as in digital formats. You can order a paperback book here . To learn more about this book, click here.
Some of you may be interested in the book that came through me when the Golden Light came into my mind last summer (learn more here). It is not a spiritual book at all, just an ordinary lesbian love story, so it's not to everyone's taste! It is called A Good Woman and it is now available on Kindle and in paperback. Learn more at www.lizcronkhite.net.


will said…
Years ago I read books by Ecknath Aswaran (hope that is the right spelling). He was a teacher of meditation among other things. He was the real deal. He talked about at some point you descend to the deepest part of the mind. Down there, is some truly scary stuff. The core or origin of who we are as humans. You said you looked at the deepest darkest depths of the mind. What did you see or experience?
ACIM Mentor said…
Will, you can read my Releasing Guilt for Inner Peace book to get some sense of what I have in the past descended into. But this time around I simply went to the depths of distrust of Truth, which I had not seen before. Boy it was dark. I really felt I went to the furthest distance from Truth I could get. A place where trust in Truth was impossible. But keep in mind the experience was surrounded by Light and Certainty. So, while I could see now it wasn't real, I know that belief used to unconsciously drive me.

I found it very interesting to see this, though it was intensely uncomfortable for a few hours. I was also grateful to see it. It was a part of me, after all, even if incorrect.

I just have a thing for wanting to see everything in my mind. I'm twisted that way. ;-) But the mind is me, you know? I don't like hidden things. It was the pain of coming out of denial that set me on this path after all...
will said…

I have the same problem. I want to see everything in your mind too. Ha!
will said…
Something from the Slipstream:
Just a few moments ago I realized that when I think of what is happening to Liz, the spiritual changes to her mind, I have not been thinking in terms of Liz’s mind. The person Liz doesn’t enter into it. I am thinking of ‘A Mind’ that is going through changes. When I address Liz I of course am thinking of the person. This change has been going on I guess for a few weeks (?) but I just saw it now. This may seem pretty trivial in reading about it but to me it is a shift because there was never any intent.
I’ll post this (and try not to delete it). After a day it may not mean anything, but it sure struck me a few minutes ago.
laurie said…
Don't delete Will. I still get tripped up by statements such as 'a part of my mind', 'the deepest reaches of my mind', 'the part of my mind that isn't real' etc.

All I experience are thoughts, that turn into paragraphs of thoughts, that turn into moods.

Eventually I remind myself that the self I believe myself to be is essentially a dream character who is trying to figure out how to wake itself up. However as a dream character I can only experience thoughts that 'the dreamer' allows it to.

So that kinda' sucks.....

Which leads me to the awareness that I don't know who the fuck I am, or how much control I have over any of it....
ACIM Mentor said…
Laurie, you are not the dream character, but a mind identifying with a dream character. *You* are the dreamer of the dream that has become aware, even if only intellectually, that you are dreaming.

Get to know your own mind. Don't worry about others' descriptions of their minds ("parts", "deepest reaches", etc.) If it's not helpful, dump it.
will said…
I have been reading in sections 1-4 in Chapter 3 today. There is a different sense in reading the text than before. I am reading at a deeper level although I am cautious in saying all my understanding is correct. The deeper understanding I am referring to is mostly a congealing (a coming together of things to make a whole) of things I have learned from past study. The congealing process is the Holy Spirit. My part as a student is to put myself in a position that the Holy Spirit can effect change. Study is a big part of that. The individual things are very important, but this combining them into a larger whole is a different experience.

I bring all this up because of the unrealistic expectations we put on ourselves. “That I should be thinking this or that, or I should be seeing this way or that way.” We may read the text and understand it to mean that you are not progressing in your studies because you are still stuck with perception; or something. We are hard on ourselves, we demand unrealistic expectations. When we step back as the Observer we see it is just the ego beating us up. Measuring our progress in the Course is unavoidable, but it is good to remember it is an activity of the ego.

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