Too Concerned with Consciousness
My mistake for so many years was to try to accept that I wasn’t what I was experiencing myself to be. In other words, I felt I was a self, but I tried to get myself to realize that I was Truth or Spirit or Mind or whatever you want to call It. It would have been better to allow myself to feel I was a self and to also invite Truth into my awareness. In practice, of course, this is what eventually occurred. I would, time and again, say, “This is what I experience, dammit, and I’m not going to deny it anymore.” But it would have been a lot less painful if between those moments of honesty I didn’t fall back into guilt and feel I had to try to accept what was unacceptable from the point of view that I was a self.
There was no reconciling my experience as a self and my experiences of Truth. I really just had to experience each apart from the other. This is the experience of the split mind. But mind seeks to be whole. So it seeks to reconcile its parts. However, Wholeness is. It is not made by reconciling Truth and not-Truth. In fact, Wholeness does not need to be made at all. It is always here. To realize Wholeness I just need to let not-Truth fall away. And this is done by letting it go without judging it. It isn’t real so why would I need to judge it? Why would I need to do anything with it?
I was always too concerned with my own conscious experiences. If I experience what isn’t real, so what? It isn’t real. That’s not justification for guilt. The only response that makes sense is to recognize it isn’t real! No harm; no foul. The Truth goes on completely untouched by what happens in the consciousness of this split mind.
This is something I can only see now that I no longer believe in guilt.
If you are interested in learning how to undo your belief in guilt, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
If you have a question the answer to which you think will help others email it to me at Liz@acimmentor.com and indicate that you want it answered in the newsletter/blog.