Too Concerned with Consciousness
My mistake for so many years was to try to accept that I
wasn’t what I was experiencing myself to be. In other words, I felt I was a
self, but I tried to get myself to realize that I was Truth or Spirit or Mind
or whatever you want to call It. It would have been better to allow myself to
feel I was a self and to also invite Truth into my awareness. In practice, of
course, this is what eventually occurred. I would, time and again, say, “This
is what I experience, dammit, and I’m not going to deny it anymore.” But it
would have been a lot less painful if between those moments of honesty I didn’t
fall back into guilt and feel I had to try to accept what was unacceptable from
the point of view that I was a self.
There was no reconciling my experience as a self and my
experiences of Truth. I really just had to experience each apart from the
other. This is the experience of the split mind. But mind seeks to be whole. So
it seeks to reconcile its parts. However, Wholeness is. It is not made
by reconciling Truth and not-Truth. In fact, Wholeness does not need to be made
at all. It is always here. To realize Wholeness I just need to let not-Truth
fall away. And this is done by letting it go without judging it. It isn’t real
so why would I need to judge it? Why would I need to do anything with it?
I was always too concerned with my own conscious experiences.
If I experience what isn’t real, so what? It
isn’t real. That’s not justification for guilt. The only response that
makes sense is to recognize it isn’t real! No harm; no foul. The Truth goes on
completely untouched by what happens in the consciousness of this split mind.
This is something I can only see now that I no longer
believe in guilt.
>>>>>
If you are interested in learning
how to undo your belief in guilt, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com
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Comments
But that belief in guilt is so sub conscious. Years ago I did read your book on guilt. Today I would read it with a better understanding and glean more from it. For the purposes of this post can you tell us again how the belief in guilt is responsible for our awareness of Un truth, Un wholeness.
Guilt is not responsible for your awareness of not-Truth. You can be aware of not-Truth and not feel guilty. But guilt makes not-Truth seem significant. It makes it matter. It makes it real to you.
What I was saying was my belief in guilt made what went on in this mind's consciousness seem to matter. Without the belief in guilt, I see it does not matter one iota.
....and I'm laughing.... Just read the first line and I'm laughing. You're right. Either - Or. Either Truth or Ego/guilt.
I thank you and now, with the second paragraph in my mind for contemplation and absorption, I must take pause (so as not to skim over it's depth and application in our lives). It is more complex than the first. It's a double doozy for the mind and yet I sense the freedom it offers.
Liz, you just get it and give so darned much. We ALL thank you.
There can be nothing but good to come from this. In this persons opinion the course in this blog had become brittle, hard, little room for spiritual maneuvering that is necessary in any spiritual journey. The biblical Jesus, if I can refer to him without offending anyone's sensitivity, wrestled with his humanness until his death.
IMHO, If a person is uncomfortable with this they need to respect the author enough to resolve this issue with him rather than the ego.
Not selling anything but a look at denial.
Of course Truth is untouched. But what the ego blinds us to is that the split mind is effected daily. It effects lives daily. It is a two way relationship. If you have ever seen addicted people in 12 step what do you see?
It takes a committed desire to block this out. The ego coming in the back door will use whatever they believe is a personal strength to blind them to their actual relationship to Jesus/Holy Sport.
I've noticed i get obsessed with consciousness after an experience of peace. The self trying to be perfect brings out extra whips. It's specialness in action again isn't it? Trying to seek peace through the self and its stories?
Yes, specialness is meant to be the replacement for Truth so you seek for peace through it in the absence of an Awareness of Truth.