Often I have written that this path has not unfolded the way I thought it would. I had expectations based on what I read, but had not yet experienced. So they were formed through the filters of my past and what I only understood so far. Other expectations were formed in guilt and fear. And still others were based on the specific experiences of others, which were never meant to be applied to everyone.
There was a time when my study was all in my intellect and I pushed away my mystical experiences. Intellectual study led to new concepts, but brought no peace and no clarity. Only experience would bring peace and clarity. I eventually learned to let my experiences, rather than what I read in a book, lead the way. And only then did I really understand what I had read.
Thankfully, miraculously, my willingness to experience for myself overrode my expectations. And this has led to shattered expectations, but fascinating, illuminating experiences.
My recent articles rattled some of my readers. They shattered their expectations. Some had expectations of me; some had expectations of what would happen when the ego (personal thought system) fell away. Some admit they are rattled, are turning inward to Truth, and are learning from it. Some are merely redefining what is meant by “ego”, because their expectations were based on a misunderstanding of what it is. Others project guilt and fear.
Though my outer world is changing dramatically, for me it is the internal shift that requires the greater adjustment. A consciousness used to identifying with a self now has to adjust to being without that identity. It is mourning the loss of that identification while adjusting to merely observing the self. It is undoing habits of thinking. It is accepting a Higher Consciousness that has come to fill the void. The latter is not difficult on its own. It’s actually quite lovely. But it signals just how huge a shift has come, and sometimes throws this mind back into shock and grief.
It amuses me when people say I must be wrong about what has happened in my mind, and the manifestation of that shift in the self’s life, because it does not fit their expectations of what the experience would be. It’s not how they’ve interpreted what it says in a book they’ve read! Ah, well, yes, I was there myself. I know the fear that made me cling to “safe” ideas. And I know the fear that attended them being shattered. While I am amused at the arrogance of holding out one’s expectations as more valid than another’s experience, I do feel compassion for their fearfulness.
I share my experiences so that my readers know what to expect—the unexpected. How can a mind used to a certain thought system understand what will happen when it is gone and a whole new Thought System comes?
A mentor is someone who walks the path ahead of you. If you want to benefit from my experience and perhaps lighten your process, email me at Liz@acimmentor.com to set up an appointment. Learn more at www.acimmentor.com.
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