You Will Never Convince the Ego

When I was first a student of the Course I made the mistake of thinking I had to convince my ego to accept what the Course said and to accept my experiences of Oneness. I felt a deep sense of recognition when I read the Course, much like the experience of Oneness I would soon experience with another in the holy relationship. But I was also deeply identified with my ego and it resisted what I read and what I experienced. It told me what I read didn’t make sense, that it contradicted “reality” and that my experiences were insane even though they were more familiar and real to me than this world. I couldn’t see how I could ever wholly accept what I was experiencing because the ego would never let me.

And I was right. After more than twenty years my ego still says the same thing. Particularly when I have a profound experience that shifts me out of the world and shows me what is real, my ego follows up with a vicious attack. It knows that, even if it was only for an instant, I went someplace it does not exist and it feels threatened. It tells me to get off this path completely, that I have wasted my life, that I am deluded and missing out on a “real” life, that the experience I had was nothing, a delusion. What has changed is that I accept the ego will never let me accept the Truth and I recognize that the only way out of the conflict is to let go of the ego. I let the ego have its say. I hear it, but I don’t have to listen to it.

You overcome the ego not by convincing it to change but by letting it go. Resisting it makes it real to you. It’s loud and obnoxious, and to the degree to which you think it might be saying something valid, you listen to it and feel conflicted and uncomfortable. There is no sin in listening to the ego because it is never real. But it will confuse you. Let the ego have its say and let it go. You know what the Truth is because you are Part of It.

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