Attack of the Killer Ego!
When the ego experiences threat, its only decision is whether to attack now or to withdraw to attack later. (T-9.VIII.3)
Whenever I have a profound spiritual experience or share my spiritual experiences with someone else I soon after experience a pendulum swing back toward the ego. This can take various forms:
Depression because I feel God wants to take me away from this “life”.
With the holy relationship, a strong desire to get away from the one I am experiencing it with.
With the holy relationship, a sense that I was being “deprived” of the special relationship. (This has passed completely).
Actual verbal attacks by the ego, telling me the experience wasn’t real and I’m an idiot to think it was.
A sudden burst of creativity to distract me from my path of awakening.
Absorption in a completely unrelated part of my life so that I almost forget what I experienced.
Suggestions from the ego that I change my life, take up a new interest, get a new job, move to a new city, etc.
Feelings of extreme discomfort when I write a blog or otherwise share something ego doesn’t like.
This used to be extremely painful. I could be angry and depressed for long periods of time. But I’ve learned to detach from this swing by recognizing it, accepting it and affirming my goal of awakening. By not resisting it, it passes more quickly. In response to this, ego has become much more subtle in its efforts. It doesn’t rant and push at me anymore, it quietly suggests and gently nudges. But it does not fool me for long. I know this will happen as long as I identify with ego and still feel it has some value. And I recognize it is part of the process of learning there is an Identity which offers me much greater value.
www.acimmentor.com
To receive his daily blog in your email contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com
Whenever I have a profound spiritual experience or share my spiritual experiences with someone else I soon after experience a pendulum swing back toward the ego. This can take various forms:
Depression because I feel God wants to take me away from this “life”.
With the holy relationship, a strong desire to get away from the one I am experiencing it with.
With the holy relationship, a sense that I was being “deprived” of the special relationship. (This has passed completely).
Actual verbal attacks by the ego, telling me the experience wasn’t real and I’m an idiot to think it was.
A sudden burst of creativity to distract me from my path of awakening.
Absorption in a completely unrelated part of my life so that I almost forget what I experienced.
Suggestions from the ego that I change my life, take up a new interest, get a new job, move to a new city, etc.
Feelings of extreme discomfort when I write a blog or otherwise share something ego doesn’t like.
This used to be extremely painful. I could be angry and depressed for long periods of time. But I’ve learned to detach from this swing by recognizing it, accepting it and affirming my goal of awakening. By not resisting it, it passes more quickly. In response to this, ego has become much more subtle in its efforts. It doesn’t rant and push at me anymore, it quietly suggests and gently nudges. But it does not fool me for long. I know this will happen as long as I identify with ego and still feel it has some value. And I recognize it is part of the process of learning there is an Identity which offers me much greater value.
www.acimmentor.com
To receive his daily blog in your email contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com
Comments
Thank you for this blog.
But I’ve learned to detach from this swing by recognizing it, accepting it and affirming my goal of awakening. By not resisting it, it passes more quickly."
To be aware of my mind and what is thinking is a task in of itself. Sometimes the new information can be quite confusing. But I keep in mind that the ego, my ego is always wrong and that I "always" have a choice even when my ego says I don't have a choice. Thanks again and I'll be back.
Yep. I know that feeling, that ego reaction.