The Holy Relationship

Beyond the body that you interposed between you and your brother, and shining in the golden light that reaches it from the bright, endless circle that extends forever, is your holy relationship, beloved of God Himself. (T-22.II.12)

I experienced the holy relationship very soon after becoming a student of the Course. The woman I experienced it with was a friend and also a student of the Course at that time. We were very different people. She was seven years older than I, we came from different racial backgrounds, had very different pasts and held different goals for our lives. Despite these differences, I literally experienced her as my Self. What shocked me most was the Self reflected in her was not the self I was used to identifying with. Until this experience, I understood the idea of seeing myself in another to mean looking for some commonality in our egos and focusing on that instead of our differences. This experience taught me that our bodies, our egos, this world can’t even touch Heaven.

This experience was the “proof” that everything the Course said about my True Identity and Oneness was true. It was so astounding I did not talk about it with anyone – not even with her. It was a shift in perception so profound that it threw me for years.

The holy relationship should not be confused with “soul mates” or “twin souls”. Those are experiences of another “completing” you or of being half of a whole with another. They are special relationships of the ego. In the holy relationship, the other does not complete you, but rather is your Wholeness. You are not half of a whole with another, you are both exactly the same. You are One and you are aware of it.

The holy relationship is the most important experience the Course uses to teach you your True Identity. The words I have used to describe it to you fall short of the experience. There is nothing to compare it to in this world. Yet it is the goal of all relationships:

Each teaching-learning situation involves a different relationship at the beginning, although the ultimate goal is always the same; to make of the relationship a holy relationship, in which both can look upon the Son of God as sinless. (M-3.1)


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Comments

carrie genevachild said…
I experience the Holy Relationship every time I place my hands on this keyboard and accept help from Miriam.

Occasionally, I experience Miriam as my Self. Other people saw Miriam in me long before I experienced her presence and knew what was happening.

All my life I had the experience of knowing things I had no way of knowing by the usual means.

Miriam used my voice when I was nine years old to tell me the way this world is...a world of suffering and dying.

Like Liz, I understood, when I was very young, that I should not tell anyone about this inner knowing.
hannah said…
was this an experience of revelation??

the only thing ive been able to get a handle on (i think!) in relation to an intellectual understanding of the holy relationship, (i havent had the experience of it) is there are only two ways of relating with people, and both ways are a reflection of what i believe myself to be. so if i believe myself to be individual and therefore lacking, all my relationships will be special, or seeking fulfilment. if i know my true being, all my relationships will be holy.

is that close?

i have had three experiences this year that dropped all worry and concern, and embraced Truth Right Now in all time and space. but none that didnt involve this self doing the perceiving.
ACIM Mentor said…
No, Hannah, this was not an experience of Revelation.

Yes, what you described is what I call the practical Holy Relationship. (There is another article where I make a distinction between the practical and the mystical Holy Relationship, http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2009/04/mystical-and-practical-holy.html. What is described here is the latter. You can read all of these early articles by topic at my website, www.acimmentor.com under "Answers by Topic". The Holy Relationship is under "relationships").
hannah said…
laughing, i almost asked about further blogs on the holy relationship last night here but figured id get to them in time.. but thank you for the info it will be nice to follow topics through thoroughly. i just opened the 'answers by topic' page and got 'the buzz' feeling. just wondering if all these earlier blogs are included there, or if i should also go through them in this timeline fashion if i would like to follow the whole journey without missing any?
ACIM Mentor said…
You can read then in any order, Hannah. They are also collected into a book, "The ACIM Mentor Articles". You can also find out about that at my website under "Books by Liz".
hannah said…
LIz, i am wondering if you experience this Self often or all the time now? can you describe it at all? where was the you were used to identifying as during the experience.. would you say 'you' liz were still part of that experience as well?

i mean.. the self that remembers it was present with the Self you hadnt experienced before? is there any way i can understand this, or does it have to be experienced!?
ACIM Mentor said…
Hannah, I don't experience the Self that I saw as explicitly as I did in moments of the Holy Relationship. But It is always with me and my identity does shift into it now and then. (Another name for that Self is Holy Spirit).

I don't know how to answer whether "Liz" was part of It or not. I'm not sure what "Liz" is. The mind that experienced It and remembers It was It.

It really cannot be conveyed. You will have to experience It.
hannah said…
ok, thank you. one more question though, can you experience Self in situations other than in holy relationship?

i had an experience i described to you (on your One Story blog) oh, hang on i'll find it..

"i had been visiting my nephew who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. Taran has been my biggest.. challenge/teacher to being able to free my mind from fearing pain, sorrow, anger and guilt.. fearing the 'reality' of the ego and its effects. about a minute after leaving the house the words ran through my head 'not my will but gods' and for about five seconds i experienced the most beautiful joyful perfection. it was impossible for anything, any choice anyone made ever, to mar the perfection in any way.. every single choice ever made was part of the perfection, even if Taran chose to end being Taran. The world was kind of.. visually and emotionally golden without actually looking any different. it felt like, well in my mind ive called it one perfect song, and everything converged harmonically no matter what. no one could be 'left behind' or 'left out' because there was only one! and somehow that wasnt lonely, but joyful."

so, i think that that was an experience of Holy Spirit.. would you call it an experience of holy relationship? even though there wasnt a single other being involved but all of time and space? i knew/experienced how nothing in all of time and space could effect reality, or mar that one song here, in seeming time and space.
ACIM Mentor said…
Hannah, the Holy Instant and the Holy Relationship are the same thing. As ACIM says, the Holy Relationship is an ongoing expression of the Holy Instant. And in the end what one realizes in the Holy Relationship is that they are in a relationship with the Holy Spirit.
hannah said…
oh!! ok, that simplifies things in my mind, thanks.

in that last line, where you said that in the end what one realises in the Holy Relationship is that one is in a relationship with Holy Spirit, is that another way of saying that in the end you realise that you are in a relationship with yourSelf? or.. with Truth?

but.. oh, that confused me again. maybe cos im still trying to figure out what hannah is. how can nothing know anything!? is this an unnecessary rabbit hole?!
ACIM Mentor said…
When I realized I my Holy Relationship was really with the Holy Spirit It was still "other" to me and I did not experience it as a relationship with my Self. But I understood Truth, or what I called "God" at the time, was an experience beyond it. The Holy Relationship only pointed to Truth.

You are not nothing. You are a mind identifying with a self in a body in a world. That's how you can come to an understanding.
hannah said…
i am not nothing? but in Truth there are no I's right, no minds? i want to not be nothing, dont get me wrong! i want there to be some part of the experiencer that is part of truth.. yet i cant see how that can be. maybe this is because im still confused as to what mind IS! its difficult not tho think of mind as awareness, but awareness has to have something to be aware of, right??

i can see how relaxing into a current identity which encompasses not truth, and yet allows the idea of the non reality of not truth to be present too, would be much more helpful than fighting trying to understand an identity that im not ready for (to accept, understand, experience.. whatever, i dont know how that would show up/play out, because i dont understand WHAT is playing out!). any thought that lessens resistance to this experience of 'being' a person in this universe seems to be helpful, even if in a roundabout kind of way. so if you recommend i just attempt to embrace peaceful acceptance of what simply feels like me for now, i'll really try! i dont know if this is a helpful focus now, or if im trying to skip steps and discombobulate myself!

but my issue with ceasing trying to understand what i really am is, it feels like letting the search for truth go!

hannah said…

oh hang on, something just popped into my head from your latest blog, (your response to the label of iconoclast) where you said you decided to follow your experiences of truth rather than your intellectual understanding, as intellectual understanding cant actually transform your experience of reality, but experience of truth can, and you wanted to truly know/experience truth, not just have an intellectual understanding of a path to knowing it.

(i think ive understood you there, hope im not misquoting.) i love that, as the line from the course 'intellectual understanding is not the truth that will set you free' is one of the lines that seared itself into my brain in the 'pay attention this is important' kind of way.

anyhow, i think maybe its not a one or the other scenario, right!? i dont have to drop my desire for intellectual understanding of what 'I' am, just recognise its not the truth but a way of leaning toward truth, an opening tool?

like.. an intellectual understanding can open my mind to experiencing the holy relationship. an the holy relationship will open my mind to experiencing true identity.
ACIM Mentor said…
Hannah, intellectual understanding comes through the experience of Truth. It's not the other way around. When you let Truth lead the way understanding comes.

Study can lead you to open to certain experiences but it is not the experience itself. So it can help to learn that there is such a thing as the Holy Relationship so that you open yourself to experience it. But you will not really understand it until you experience it.

About awareness (consciousness, perception): The mind is that which is aware. What it is aware of are thoughts. Thoughts can lead you toward or away from Truth. But they are never Truth Itself. Truth is the level of Knowledge. The highest level of awareness (consciousness, perception) is the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit, Christ Mind, Teacher of Truth).
hannah said…
liz, does this mean that in truth, truth is aware of truth?? ive kind of had an idea that in truth there was no awareness, like i said above, that there must be something else to be 'aware' of. so after reading over these a few times, im wondering if minds, and Mind both have awareness, just not.. in the same way? hang on.. you say the highest level of awareness is the awareness of truth.. so there is not awareness as such in Mind?

oh.. am i way off? im embarrassed, but.. in Truth, is there Mind?? you have said that in truth, there are no thoughts. so, im thinking.. if thought is what mind is aware of, maybe acim is saying that mind is aware of separate thought, Mind is aware of united thought.. and i can rest in that though there is no Mind in true being??
hannah said…
sorry, in this line

"hang on.. you say the highest level of awareness is the awareness of truth.. so there is not awareness as such in Mind?"

it should read ".. so there is not awareness as such in Truth?"

hannah said…
i do hear you that i cant intellectually understand my way to inner peace ;)
ACIM Mentor said…
Hannah, Mind is the aspect of Being through Which Being knows Itself. In Truth there is KNOWING rather than AWARENESS (perception, consciousness). In Truth, knowing and being are the same. Awareness is a distortion of Mind's knowing. At the level of awareness one thinks (doing) rather than knows (being). The highest level of awareness is to be aware of Truth (Holy Spirit or Christ Consciousness). It is just this side (the awareness side) of Knowing.
hannah said…
ok, right! thats really helpful, (mind is the aspect of being through which being knows itself) thank you. oh, thats so enjoyable, the feeling of questions falling away and some stillness being present there instead. very very thank you, and happy 2017 xx

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