The Holy Relationship
Beyond the body that you interposed between you and your brother, and shining in the golden light that reaches it from the bright, endless circle that extends forever, is your holy relationship, beloved of God Himself. (T-22.II.12)
I experienced the holy relationship very soon after becoming a student of the Course. The woman I experienced it with was a friend and also a student of the Course at that time. We were very different people. She was seven years older than I, we came from different racial backgrounds, had very different pasts and held different goals for our lives. Despite these differences, I literally experienced her as my Self. What shocked me most was the Self reflected in her was not the self I was used to identifying with. Until this experience, I understood the idea of seeing myself in another to mean looking for some commonality in our egos and focusing on that instead of our differences. This experience taught me that our bodies, our egos, this world can’t even touch Heaven.
This experience was the “proof” that everything the Course said about my True Identity and Oneness was true. It was so astounding I did not talk about it with anyone – not even with her. It was a shift in perception so profound that it threw me for years.
The holy relationship should not be confused with “soul mates” or “twin souls”. Those are experiences of another “completing” you or of being half of a whole with another. They are special relationships of the ego. In the holy relationship, the other does not complete you, but rather is your Wholeness. You are not half of a whole with another, you are both exactly the same. You are One and you are aware of it.
The holy relationship is the most important experience the Course uses to teach you your True Identity. The words I have used to describe it to you fall short of the experience. There is nothing to compare it to in this world. Yet it is the goal of all relationships:
Each teaching-learning situation involves a different relationship at the beginning, although the ultimate goal is always the same; to make of the relationship a holy relationship, in which both can look upon the Son of God as sinless. (M-3.1)
www.acimmentor.com
To receive this daily blog in your e-mail contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com
I experienced the holy relationship very soon after becoming a student of the Course. The woman I experienced it with was a friend and also a student of the Course at that time. We were very different people. She was seven years older than I, we came from different racial backgrounds, had very different pasts and held different goals for our lives. Despite these differences, I literally experienced her as my Self. What shocked me most was the Self reflected in her was not the self I was used to identifying with. Until this experience, I understood the idea of seeing myself in another to mean looking for some commonality in our egos and focusing on that instead of our differences. This experience taught me that our bodies, our egos, this world can’t even touch Heaven.
This experience was the “proof” that everything the Course said about my True Identity and Oneness was true. It was so astounding I did not talk about it with anyone – not even with her. It was a shift in perception so profound that it threw me for years.
The holy relationship should not be confused with “soul mates” or “twin souls”. Those are experiences of another “completing” you or of being half of a whole with another. They are special relationships of the ego. In the holy relationship, the other does not complete you, but rather is your Wholeness. You are not half of a whole with another, you are both exactly the same. You are One and you are aware of it.
The holy relationship is the most important experience the Course uses to teach you your True Identity. The words I have used to describe it to you fall short of the experience. There is nothing to compare it to in this world. Yet it is the goal of all relationships:
Each teaching-learning situation involves a different relationship at the beginning, although the ultimate goal is always the same; to make of the relationship a holy relationship, in which both can look upon the Son of God as sinless. (M-3.1)
www.acimmentor.com
To receive this daily blog in your e-mail contact me at Liz@acimmentor.com
Comments
Occasionally, I experience Miriam as my Self. Other people saw Miriam in me long before I experienced her presence and knew what was happening.
All my life I had the experience of knowing things I had no way of knowing by the usual means.
Miriam used my voice when I was nine years old to tell me the way this world is...a world of suffering and dying.
Like Liz, I understood, when I was very young, that I should not tell anyone about this inner knowing.
the only thing ive been able to get a handle on (i think!) in relation to an intellectual understanding of the holy relationship, (i havent had the experience of it) is there are only two ways of relating with people, and both ways are a reflection of what i believe myself to be. so if i believe myself to be individual and therefore lacking, all my relationships will be special, or seeking fulfilment. if i know my true being, all my relationships will be holy.
is that close?
i have had three experiences this year that dropped all worry and concern, and embraced Truth Right Now in all time and space. but none that didnt involve this self doing the perceiving.
Yes, what you described is what I call the practical Holy Relationship. (There is another article where I make a distinction between the practical and the mystical Holy Relationship, http://acimmentor.blogspot.com/2009/04/mystical-and-practical-holy.html. What is described here is the latter. You can read all of these early articles by topic at my website, www.acimmentor.com under "Answers by Topic". The Holy Relationship is under "relationships").
i mean.. the self that remembers it was present with the Self you hadnt experienced before? is there any way i can understand this, or does it have to be experienced!?
I don't know how to answer whether "Liz" was part of It or not. I'm not sure what "Liz" is. The mind that experienced It and remembers It was It.
It really cannot be conveyed. You will have to experience It.
i had an experience i described to you (on your One Story blog) oh, hang on i'll find it..
"i had been visiting my nephew who is experiencing suicidal thoughts. Taran has been my biggest.. challenge/teacher to being able to free my mind from fearing pain, sorrow, anger and guilt.. fearing the 'reality' of the ego and its effects. about a minute after leaving the house the words ran through my head 'not my will but gods' and for about five seconds i experienced the most beautiful joyful perfection. it was impossible for anything, any choice anyone made ever, to mar the perfection in any way.. every single choice ever made was part of the perfection, even if Taran chose to end being Taran. The world was kind of.. visually and emotionally golden without actually looking any different. it felt like, well in my mind ive called it one perfect song, and everything converged harmonically no matter what. no one could be 'left behind' or 'left out' because there was only one! and somehow that wasnt lonely, but joyful."
so, i think that that was an experience of Holy Spirit.. would you call it an experience of holy relationship? even though there wasnt a single other being involved but all of time and space? i knew/experienced how nothing in all of time and space could effect reality, or mar that one song here, in seeming time and space.
in that last line, where you said that in the end what one realises in the Holy Relationship is that one is in a relationship with Holy Spirit, is that another way of saying that in the end you realise that you are in a relationship with yourSelf? or.. with Truth?
but.. oh, that confused me again. maybe cos im still trying to figure out what hannah is. how can nothing know anything!? is this an unnecessary rabbit hole?!
You are not nothing. You are a mind identifying with a self in a body in a world. That's how you can come to an understanding.
i can see how relaxing into a current identity which encompasses not truth, and yet allows the idea of the non reality of not truth to be present too, would be much more helpful than fighting trying to understand an identity that im not ready for (to accept, understand, experience.. whatever, i dont know how that would show up/play out, because i dont understand WHAT is playing out!). any thought that lessens resistance to this experience of 'being' a person in this universe seems to be helpful, even if in a roundabout kind of way. so if you recommend i just attempt to embrace peaceful acceptance of what simply feels like me for now, i'll really try! i dont know if this is a helpful focus now, or if im trying to skip steps and discombobulate myself!
but my issue with ceasing trying to understand what i really am is, it feels like letting the search for truth go!
oh hang on, something just popped into my head from your latest blog, (your response to the label of iconoclast) where you said you decided to follow your experiences of truth rather than your intellectual understanding, as intellectual understanding cant actually transform your experience of reality, but experience of truth can, and you wanted to truly know/experience truth, not just have an intellectual understanding of a path to knowing it.
(i think ive understood you there, hope im not misquoting.) i love that, as the line from the course 'intellectual understanding is not the truth that will set you free' is one of the lines that seared itself into my brain in the 'pay attention this is important' kind of way.
anyhow, i think maybe its not a one or the other scenario, right!? i dont have to drop my desire for intellectual understanding of what 'I' am, just recognise its not the truth but a way of leaning toward truth, an opening tool?
like.. an intellectual understanding can open my mind to experiencing the holy relationship. an the holy relationship will open my mind to experiencing true identity.
Study can lead you to open to certain experiences but it is not the experience itself. So it can help to learn that there is such a thing as the Holy Relationship so that you open yourself to experience it. But you will not really understand it until you experience it.
About awareness (consciousness, perception): The mind is that which is aware. What it is aware of are thoughts. Thoughts can lead you toward or away from Truth. But they are never Truth Itself. Truth is the level of Knowledge. The highest level of awareness (consciousness, perception) is the Awareness of Truth (Holy Spirit, Christ Mind, Teacher of Truth).
oh.. am i way off? im embarrassed, but.. in Truth, is there Mind?? you have said that in truth, there are no thoughts. so, im thinking.. if thought is what mind is aware of, maybe acim is saying that mind is aware of separate thought, Mind is aware of united thought.. and i can rest in that though there is no Mind in true being??
"hang on.. you say the highest level of awareness is the awareness of truth.. so there is not awareness as such in Mind?"
it should read ".. so there is not awareness as such in Truth?"