Too Concerned with Consciousness
My mistake for so many years was to try to accept that I wasn’t what I was experiencing myself to be. In other words, I felt I was a self, but I tried to get myself to realize that I was Truth or Spirit or Mind or whatever you want to call It. It would have been better to allow myself to feel I was a self and to also invite Truth into my awareness. In practice, of course, this is what eventually occurred. I would, time and again, say, “This is what I experience, dammit, and I’m not going to deny it anymore.” But it would have been a lot less painful if between those moments of honesty I didn’t fall back into guilt and feel I had to try to accept what was unacceptable from the point of view that I was a self. There was no reconciling my experience as a self and my experiences of Truth. I really just had to experience each apart from the other. This is the experience of the split mind. But mind seeks to be whole. So it seeks to reconcile its parts. However, Wholeness is . It is not ...